How Often Do You Give The Gift Of Unfiltered Truth?

I had just walked off stage in Los Angeles at Gartner's Evanta CIO Summit when an executive said to me:

"Val, thank you, to say I had an epiphany might be putting it a bit strong, but I certainly had a wake up call, you made me realize that I don't encourage people around me to tell me the truth! Thank you!"

Now I frequently hear from executives who tell me their boss, their peer, their company doesn't encourage truth telling. I have also worked with CEOs who have asked me to help one of their executives become more of a truth teller in strategy conversations and board presentations, and in my executive advisory work I have observed some of my clients create dynamics in teams where truth telling isn't easy and I have needed to provide feedback and support to improve this. But this is the first time I heard directly from an executive who was prepared to openly admit that they haven't been the best at creating a working environment where truth telling is encouraged, sought after, and rewarded.

150 CIOs had just heard my opening keynote Developing a Company of Truth Tellers. I'll share here the reflection on my Truth Telling Test® I asked the audience to complete by rating the following questions from page 7 of my latest book Words That Work:

1:Strongly disagree, 2:Disagree, 3:Neither agree nor disagree, 4:Agree, 5:Strongly agree 

1. I’m regularly given good/mediocre/ugly news in a timely manner. 

2. I seek out contrarian reviews and enthusiastically receive them even if it is uncomfortable. 

3. I am told when my ideas won’t work or when there is a better alternative. 

4. There is healthy disagreement in my executive team discussions. 

5. I actively encourage, coach, and reward truth telling in teams I lead.

This is part of the Truth-Telling Test® I’ve used with companies all around the world. It is a baseline for accelerating innovation and growth because new ideas won’t fly if you can’t be direct with each other. 

There are two more sections where you assess the truth telling ability of your immediate manager and your company. You can find the full assessment here. You can also find more resources on Truth-Telling in Chapter One of my latest book Words That Work: Communicate Your Purpose, Your Profit, and Your Performance. Truth-Telling is even in the free sample chapter that you can download here.

While I was on stage talking Truth-Telling, I also asked everyone to hold up their copy of Words That Work and look entertained. In the spirit of Truth-Telling I promised I would let people know I had asked for those entertained faces! You can see the photo here. 

How can you give the gift of Truth-Telling to your teams, peers, and bosses?

Finally....

Do you know an event, company, or team who could benefit from hearing me talk on Truth-Telling? I also customize workshops around this topic and others from my three books. Here's what I covered last week, I would be happy to chat about potential events and opportunities.

Developing a Company of Truth Tellers

The more senior you rise, the fewer people tell you the unfiltered truth. Yet, those at the top of companies need the most direct feedback. No one wants to be lied to, yet untruths are everywhere. No one wants to admit they may occasionally lie, but they hypocritically expect everyone else to always tell the truth. It is easy for teams to fall into polite habits and avoid direct debates. Instead, head nodding through a meeting and sharing what you think someone wants to hear vs. what they need to hear.

• You will learn:How to demolish the executive insulation layer that is preventing you hearing candid feedback

• The Truth Telling Test to evaluate how you, your boss, your peers and your team tell the truth

• Key words that work for the most common difficult scenarios for telling the truth

• Meeting tips for encouraging others to share what they really think!

Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday break!

Dedicated to growing your business,

Val

P.S. I hope you enjoyed this week's VAL-uable Insights, sign up here to get them in your inbox each Monday morning: http://valwrightconsulting.com/newsletter-sign-up/

Essential Advice From My New York Marathon

I would never run a marathon but apparently I can walk one in 48hours. The trick it seems is being in a city with my eldest daughter! Last year we gave our three daughters the Christmas gift of a weekend away on their own with each parent. My eldest chose New York during the holidays. At first I thought it was so she could skip school and come with me because I was speaking at a conference in New York in December, but once I told her I would come back and pick her up so we could spend the weekend together - she was still interested so off we went!

Here are some fascinating observations of my time in the city that never sleeps....

1. The suits are back -People in suits are walking NY streets - more businesses are back in the office, restaurants are filled with those dressed for work and on business lunches and dinners.

2. The pavement battle takes practice! - I realized quickly that I needed to teach my 14 year old how to walk in a busy city. Determination, speed, and not getting pushed around takes practice when crossing streets and trying to get into the door of your favorite store! By the end of the weekend she was barging ahead, head down like a true New Yorker! My parenting work here is done.

3. Kindness wins every day - I don’t think the lady who slipped and fell by the JetBlue Mint desk at JFK airport knew that the kind person who full on picked her right up was Cristo Fernandez aka Danny Rojas from Ted Lasso. (He followed us all the way through the slow security line but on strict instructions of my daughter I was NOT allowed to talk to him or ask for a picture! - though I did sneak one to prove it really was him!)

4. When you are occupied you don’t notice how much effort you are putting in - even now we both can't quite believe we walked a marathon, but we were so distracted by the colors of Central Park, the joys of vintage shopping in Greenwich Village, the installations in MOMA, the spectacular buildings of St Patricks Cathedral, NY Public Library, and Hudson Yards time and miles just flew by!

5. Vintage is valuable! - we used to hide the fact that we bought our clothes second hand when growing up out of embarrassment we couldn't afford them new - now thrifting is a proud past time of many teenagers! My daughters have taught me that thrifting is a pleasure not a necessary evil. - I even bought two Missoni dresses for a bargain price!

6. Ask others how well you are doing -I have to remind myself to do what I advise my clients - don't listen to your own view of your performance and impact - ask others! I got to meet my US Publishing team at Kogan Page while I was in New York and was delighted when I asked them how well they thought my two books were doing. - Given I launched Rapid Growth Done Right on May 2020 I knew it was a tough time to launch a book, and launching my third in January this year made me wonder how exactly they were doing in my publishers eyes - Turns out I need to press the mute button on the voices in my head a little more and listen to others!

7. “Make the goals unrealistic and the timeline realistic" Deshawna Barber - If you ever get the chance to hear DeShawna speak go and listen - a veteran and former Miss USA has many wise words to share. I love the idea of detaching the goal from the timeline - I'm curious to hear what unrealistic goal you have quietly in your head that if you shared with one person it might not be as unrealistic as you think.

I want to take a minute to highlight the work of a brilliant organization in England. Andy’s Man Club has a motto of “it’s ok to talk” and holds free support groups across the UK. Their goal is to end the stigma around mental health and help men’s suicide prevention. I invite you to follow them on their social media channels and share their messages they apply beyond the men they are targeting. 

...and finally if you are struggling what to get the kids in your life I highly recommend the idea of a weekend away with one at a time. Ever since we brought our twins home from the hospital when our first daughter was only 23 months old, the power of "divide and conquer" runs strong in our house!

Dedicated to growing your business,

Val

P.S. I hope you enjoyed this week's VAL-uable Insights, sign up here to get them in your inbox each Monday morning: http://valwrightconsulting.com/newsletter-sign-up/

How To Meet People You Really Want To At Your Next Event

I’m heading to New York to speak to 1,250 attendees at a conference and as I was sharing some preparation tips for attendees I realized it might be helpful to share them here:

I rarely meet an executive who says they love to network so here are four ways to make it more enjoyable:

NETworking is annoying because it is too general. 

It’s hard to believe, but it really is possible, you can love networking once you stop the NET of networking. 

Networking is hated by many because the NET in Networking assumes a large number - that you are casting a wide net - when you need to do the opposite, take a precision approach to who you want to meet and find out who can connect you. Wouldn’t you prefer three quality conversations rather than 20 superficial ones?

Preparation is crucial

When I’m at an event with other executives I know, I ask them ahead of time who they want to meet and I facilitate the introductions. You can ask the event organizer, or someone else you know in attendance to introduce you to the right people.

Become a super node

At an event in Silicon Valley last month I overheard someone call me a “Super Node” to another executive. Board member Amit Shah explained that I’m always at the centre of connecting others and that I open up my connections to others to provide mutual benefit. I appreciated how he explained this. It’s easy for you to do this too if you think about who you know and where there maybe useful introductions. —word of warning I only introduce executives with a double-yes. Which means that both people want to meet each other before an introduction is made. 

Great to meet you!

A simple text, DM, email to whoever you met saying it was great to meet and following up on any topics you discussed is a great way to stay connected. - I like to personalize a note on LinkedIn DMs because it stays there as a record for where and when you met someone. This really helps my ADHD brain which doesn't remember names and faces without a prompt.

Cheers to making new useful connections at your next event!

Dedicated to growing your business,

Val

P.S. I hope you enjoyed this week's VAL-uable Insights, sign up here to get them in your inbox each Monday morning: http://valwrightconsulting.com/newsletter-sign-up/