Why Silence Works Brilliantly And How To Stop Others Talking Too Much

I’ve just finished a three day strategy retreat with an executive team of an unbelievably successful business. What they told me at the end of the event, was how valuable it was to hear everyone on the team share their insights and ideas for innovation. This allowed rapid understanding and an explosion of ideas for growing their business in unexpected ways. 

I’m guessing most people who open this email are not the people who need to read it most so let’s start with advice for you first. 

Yes people annoy me doing this!

If you feel this way chances are not getting your voice heard. You can make changes that will help people you work with by saying one of these phrases:

• “Rather than jump in and discuss this, I need a minute to think, let’s reflect personally and reconvene in three minutes to discuss”

• “Let me share a counter view to what I am guessing many will be thinking…”

• ”I find a pre read helpful for important topics, can we all commit to doing that in the future?”

If you eye rolled to this idea and made it this far this advice is for you:

This is a stupid concept!

If you think this, it’s likely you don’t realize you might be the first to talk in a meeting or conversation. It’s not bad…But it might be stifling others around you to share what they are thinking if you always jump in with your opinion first, so consider this:

• for the next week draw a picture of every group conversation with a series of parallel lines. Name each line as to who is talking first second and third.

• Practice by taking a later order in the conversation.

• Notice how people react to you when you jump in first second or third.

This often happens with our three daughters. We have to tell them not to talk over their sisters and wait their turn to speak. But. In waiting their turn they need to actually listen to what is being said, same applies at work. 

Are you listening and learning the value of everyone getting to speak?

Meanwhile, look out in your inbox later this week for news of my next book!

Dedicated to growing your business,

Val

P.S. I hope you enjoyed this week's VAL-uable Insights, sign up here to get them in your inbox each Monday morning: http://valwrightconsulting.com/newsletter-sign-up/

The Simple Joy Of Saying Yes To Having A Dog

Ever surprised yourself with an about turn decision? I’ve channeled my inner Roy Kent for the last ten years when any of our kids have asked for a dog. (Ted Lasso reference) My ability to say no in a multitude of ways has been endless.  Until I changed my mind. I’d heard from many close friends of the emotional support a dog can bring a family full of teenagers and so I went from ABSOLUTELY NEVER to considering the idea of having a dog.  It is surprising how freeing it is to completely change your mind on a major decision.  What changed in the Wright House? We are now at home far more than ever before, we just bought a new home, our 11,11&13 year olds are able to help out, and it just seems like we can make the space and time.  But what really changed for me was asking this one question: “What will I regret more?” …will I regret having a dog and our newly renovated home be covered in a few scratches? …will I regret when our three girls leave home that I was the evil parent that wouldn’t give them what they really wanted - a dog.? …will I regret being the miserable one who kept saying no because the idea of more work seemed like a step too far? …I first shared my mantra once our twin babies came home from the hospital and our first born wasn’t yet two years old. We sold our salt water aquarium and I boldly stated: “never will we have anything else with a heartbeat enter our house!” So we surprised our daughters this weekend with our news and now we are deep in research mode on the right dog for our family. So if you have any ideas for the best breed for a hypoallergenic dog under 25lbs let me know. - pictures welcome too! If you also have recommendations for shelters in the LA area that may have puppies available for adoption I’d love to hear.  Meanwhile, stay tuned next week for news about my third book!

Dedicated to growing your business,

Val

P.S. I hope you enjoyed this week's VAL-uable Insights, sign up here to get them in your inbox each Monday morning: http://valwrightconsulting.com/newsletter-sign-up/

The Unexpected Social Trend That You Might Be Feeling Too

As companies open back up more of their office doors and conferences start to return in real life there is an unexpected reality occurring.  A reluctance, unwillingness, and an avoidance of social interaction.  Despite an expected craving of adult interaction once lockdown was lifted, not everyone is joyously celebrating and embracing social activities.  Perhaps 18 months of being trained to avoid physical contact, unnecessary interactions, and exposure to strangers has retrained many of us.  The results are smaller energy reserves for social conversations, a reluctance for spontaneous interactions, and just more people opting out of the social commitments that used to consume our calendars.  But it’s ok. It is not all pointing to life as hermits… Those friends who matter, matter more than ever as I’m seeing everyone pull their close friends closer.  Those social moments that are intentional, deliberate, with a thought out group of people are appreciated.  It was too easy in the past to say yes to a plethora of social commitments and now embracing saying no to events you truly don’t want to be spending time at. Protecting your social time is important.  But as you lead teams with new hires, or you know people who have recently moved to your company or city…or even perhaps new neighbors on your street….those are who to take care of as those transitions are not easy.  I’ve been even more ruthless lately with the flood of invites expecting an rsvp. It’s ok to decline, delay, or just show up for a short time to any invite you receive.  And a final thought for those who run events, host social gatherings, or are organizing work events… just give everyone the space to join or not at their own pace.

Dedicated to growing your business,

Val

P.S. I hope you enjoyed this week's VAL-uable Insights, sign up here to get them in your inbox each Monday morning: http://valwrightconsulting.com/newsletter-sign-up/