Did you light a candle, bake a cake, throw a party for one, or just reflect on the last 365 days when the first anniversary of the COVID 19 pandemic passed?- I took my daughters real-life-shopping for the first time since February 2020.
If you use Facebook then the memories feature is currently reminding you of your last <insert fun activity> before lockdown set in. I've seen my last meal out with friends, my last time speaking on stage, my last plane ride, my last walking the kids to school... all memory and emotion inducing photos.
Here is the good news: real emotions that this past year has magnified will make us all stronger here’s how:
1. Awe
England has declared March 23 as a day of reflection with a minutes silence at noon to remember those whose lives have been lost. I remain in awe of our first responders, healthcare teams, and front line workers who have been leaving their homes every day to risk exposure to serve and support in their jobs. Think about those in your company—who is on the front line? Who has had to adapt the most? Who is at risk? Noticing and sharing your gratitude towards those who you are in awe of is a new habit to embrace.
2. Guilt
Many leaders are feeling guilty and asking me if it is ok to complain about their current situation when so many others are worse off or have lost loved ones. Don’t use that guilt as a reason to bury your feelings or not share your frustrations - so much of what we have experienced in the last year has led to a pressure cooker style build up of stress and emotional demands. But it does help you gain perspective. Use your feelings of guilt as an early warning sign you may need to spend more time talking through your current work life and whole life with those you trust.
3. Exasperation
I’m working with leaders who have interviewed for and changed jobs virtually and never met anyone they now work with in real life, those who have experienced months of loneliness or months of crazy demands of parents/kids/pets & life. I describe The Caged Animal Effect for those who are used to being out in the wild -Meeting customers, attending conferences, being in the office - and instead they are trapped in their home unable to roam free. This is hard/exhausting/endless/draining. No wonder exasperation sets in! This is where you get to reset your Sensibly Selfish Charter - what you time, couple time, family time, friends time, do you need in your life right now to maintain your energy levels - and what can you put in place that will release some of your exasperation?
4. Joy
Yes, shake that guilt off- it is ok to feel some joy— in fact go and seek it out right now. It might be fleeting, it might be surrounded by a whole lot of other difficult demands but noticing what truly brings you joy isn’t just for when you are clearing out your house Marie Kondo style —- This week I noticed one of my daughters now has a strong British accent — thanks to all the time she is spending with her British parents rather than her friends - (or maybe in part from the new obsession of Harry Potter too!?) —either way it just brings me pure joy so I’ll take it. - it doesn’t have to always be about profit/revenue or market share- notice what brings you joy, makes you smile, or jolts you to notice a ray of what is brilliant in the world.
This weekend we celebrated the anniversary of lockdown with “alone time days” with each of our daughters. They get to choose what we do, with one parent at a time. A long standing tradition of ours that we had to adapt in this last year to inside our house moments but a tradition I can’t wait to bring back in full force over the next few months.
Until then— which real emotions have you felt and how have you embraced them? I’d love to hear.
Dedicated to growing your business,
Val
P.S. I hope you enjoyed this week's VAL-uable Insights, sign up here to get them in your inbox each Monday morning: http://valwrightconsulting.com/newsletter-sign-up/
The Right Advice From My Ten Year Old For Dealing With Unexpected Changes
“Can I change it? No. So I won’t worry about it!”
That’s what one of my ten year old daughters told me this weekend as she was preparing to go back to school and we were comparing notes about what we each knew about how it would work.
It occurred to me, there are plenty of leaders who could benefit from taking Naomi’s advice!
We are on day 365 of lockdown as you read this publication. March 11 2020, precisely 365 days ago, schools shut down in Los Angeles and this morning one of my ten year old daughters gets to go back to school part time.
Teachers will be teaching remotely into classrooms. Students have selected whether to join remotely or in small cohorts of 7 on campus.
There was a trial run for 90minutes last week. Teachers, administrators, and parents are all doing their best to juggle weighing up the risks and upsides of their choices for teachers, families, and students as the vaccine is rolled out.
Monday morning the four half days start back on campus for one of my ten year old daughters with so many unknowns. So many questions. So many changes. So many routines broken. So many new habits to form. So many unknowns. (...and so many pick ups for the Wrights with three kids in two schools and three schedules to manage!!)
Weekly testing. Daily temperature tests. Can’t hang out with friends outside of your 7 person cohort. Still have to do 50% of learning on line. Everyone is learning new ways to adapt and build resilience.
Ever been back to your favorite restaurant or hotel and your memories shattered by the current disappointing reality? That’s what back to school will be like for many kids. That’s what back to work will be. That’s what we all with experience as we shift from current routines to new routines. —-how we remember it would be our reality for a while.
So what do you do as you lead your company and your team through the next wave of change?
Perhaps listen to Naomi’s advice....
“If you can’t change it...don’t worry about it”
—-which means you DO have to change what you can
CEO of retailer Francesca’s, Andrew Clarke who I have been working with for the last year as they shifted from NASDAQ to private equity ownership, says it well: “control what you can control”
I’d love to hear your favorite soundbites and catchphrases for leading your team through the unknown. - I might even feature you in my upcoming articles—- or even my 3rd book which I will be announcing later this month.
Meanwhile...wishing you all patience, strength, resilience, and energy as you lead through this next layer of what is next.
Dedicated to growing your business,
Val
P.S. I hope you enjoyed this week's VAL-uable Insights, sign up here to get them in your inbox each Monday morning: http://valwrightconsulting.com/newsletter-sign-up/
How To Effectively Improve Results By How You Handle Feedback
“There is no point giving them that feedback. They will never change so I stopped sharing it.”
Sound familiar? How do you even know if as a leader you are getting the right feedback?
Some leaders create a freeze on feedback, often without being aware of it.
Take the Feedback Freeze Assessment to see where you fall. Answer Yes, Sometimes, No to the following statements:
I receive both positive and critical feedback on my ideas.
If someone external was to gather feedback on me, I could predict who would say what.
When I receive feedback, I am curious to learn more and always ask clarifying questions.
I always thank people for giving me feedback, even if I don’t like what I am hearing.
My company encourages feedback and rewards candid feedback.
I frequently request feedback at pivotal moments in projects or initiatives.
When hiring, I question how new employees seek out and respond to candid feedback.
I know when not to ask for feedback.
I correctly evaluate when to ignore, accept or park feedback.
I don’t take feedback personally, but objectively seek to understand and evaluate it.
If you answered yes to eight or more questions, you have a healthy approach to feedback that will prevent you from getting lost in translation and being misunderstood.
If you answered yes to less than five questions, take time to understand what you can do to defrost the areas that are freezing your ability to ask for, accept and apply the lessons that feedback gives you. Learn more in Chapter Three of Rapid Growth, Done Right. —don’t have your copy yet? First 5 to reply “Yes please” I will send you one as a gift from me.
This is one of my favorite topics to discuss with leadership teams. Because it can have really quick results if you address it in the right way.
Want to talk about how your leadership team can create revenue and margin driving results? Let's chat and I’ll share some ideas unique to your own company.
Dedicated to growing your business,
Val
P.S. I hope you enjoyed this week's VAL-uable Insights, sign up here to get them in your inbox each Monday morning: http://valwrightconsulting.com/newsletter-sign-up/